A Jewish couple won twenty-million dollars in the lottery.

They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion estate in Southampton and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: “I want to open a damn checking account.”

A record 4.8 million people nearly won the South African National Lottery grand prize of R6.5 million this weekend – the largest number of almost-winners in the Lottery’s history.

I saw an interview on TV where this one old farmer won ten million in the Lottery.

To lotto players, near and far,
Wishing for fortunes, a home or a car,
Week after week, we strive for success,
Any prize will do, a jackpot no less,
Working with software, pencil or pen,
We’ll work those numbers, now and then,
Looking for systems, mystical and divine,
Rolling a dice or looking online,
No more black cats, you bring me bad luck,
Checking my numbers, not a hit, Oh f*ck!
At night in my bed, I think of a way,
To find the right system, one that will pay,
We have one thing in common, we see the glass half full,
Others may baulk and say it’s all bull,
Until that one day, when the big hit arrives,
We’ve got family and friends to brighten our lives.

The largest Powerball Jackpot in US lotto history of $365 million is shared by 8 co-workers at a Lincoln, NE, food processing plant.