Category: Lottery Jokes

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These results for the South African National Lottery (Lotto, Lotto Plus, Powerball, SportStake) are updated regularly, please check back. Related Articles:Washington – LottoDraw Date: 05-03-2016Draw Results: 1/14/15/18/25/27>>> Buy your Ticket Now The lotto ticketOne day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring. – Where did you … Texas – Lotto TexasDraw Date 06/06/2019 […]

Suid-Afrikaanse Lotery

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Want to play a National Lottery, but improve your chances of winning drastically? Related Articles:Russia – Gosloto 6/45Draw Date: 07-03-2016Draw Results: Coming Soon Next Draw Date: 08-03-2016Buy a … Italy – LottoDraw Date 28/07/2018 18:00 GMTDraw Result 38;43;58;80;82Next Draw Date … New Jersey – Cash 5Draw Date 28/03/2017 11:57:00 PM GMTDraw Result 2;7;19;39;40Next Draw Date […]

Play the Lottery Online

Welcome to our redesigned website where you can play the South African Lottery and other National Lottos online. Instead of finding and traveling to a local vendor, and then standing in line to buy a lottery ticket, you instead play the lotto via the Internet from the comfort of your own home or computer (anywhere […]

Home » Lottery Jokes

Lotteries, dating, and religion

“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.” – Scott Adams

Tags: dating, humor, joke, lotteries, lottery, lotto, quote, religion, Scott Adams
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on December 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on Lotteries, dating, and religion

Now or never

“Today I bought two lottery tickets, because I had a feeling that it would be now or never – they were both blanks. So I am not going to be rich after all. Nothing at all to be done about it.” – Eva Braun

Tags: Eva Braun, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, now or never, quote, rich
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on November 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on Now or never

A surtax on desperation

“Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation.” – Doug Coupland

Tags: desperation, Doug Coupland, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, quote, surtax
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on October 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on A surtax on desperation

Bet on yourself

“Forget the lottery. Bet on yourself instead.” – Brian Koslow

Tags: bet, Brian Koslow, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, quote
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on September 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on Bet on yourself

Anonymous winner

Jack Hendershot, resident of Lewes, Delaware wins $230,000,000 – chooses to remain anonymous.

Tags: anonymous, humor, jackpot, joke, lottery, lotto, winner
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on August 6th, 2013 | Comments Off on Anonymous winner

Getting hit by a passing asteroid

“I despise the Lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit on the head by a passing asteroid.” – Brian May

Tags: asteroid, Brian May, changes, despise, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, odds, quote
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on August 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on Getting hit by a passing asteroid

Blue screen of death

Bill Gates wins the $500 million MegaMillions Jackpot after buying all 175,711,536 different possible number combinations.

Tags: Bill Gates, blue screen of death, BSOD, humor, jackpot, joke, lottery, lotto, Mega Millions, megamillions, Microsoft, MS WIndows, windows
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on July 6th, 2013 | Comments Off on Blue screen of death

The jackpot is so large…

After several roll-overs, the jackpot is now worth $600 million.

The jackpot is so large that the winner will know what it is like to divorce Ted Turner. 🙂

Tags: divorce, humor, jackpot, joke, lottery, lotto, roll-over, rollover, Ted Turner
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on July 6th, 2013 | Comments Off on The jackpot is so large…

Prayer

Why is prayer the most powerful before a lottery drawing?

Because it is sincere.

Tags: humor, joke, lottery, lotto, prayer, sincere
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on June 6th, 2013 | Comments Off on Prayer

The lottery adventure

“Adventure upon all the tickets in the lottery, and you lose for certain; and the greater the number of your tickets the nearer your approach to this certainty.” – Adam Smith

Tags: Adam Smith, adventure, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, quote, tickets
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on June 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on The lottery adventure

The widower

A 70-year-old widower in Germany won a $4 million lottery, but he says he doesn’t want the money because his wife is gone and he has no children, so he doesn’t know what he’d do with it.

Tags: humor, husband, joke, lottery, lotto, spend, widower, wife
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on May 6th, 2013 | Comments Off on The widower

Equal winning odds

“I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.” – Fran Lebowitz

Tags: changes, Fran Lebowitz, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, odds, quote
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on May 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on Equal winning odds

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South Africa Lotto Results

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Lottery Jokes

Lotteries, dating, and religion

Lotteries, dating, and religion

Now or never

A surtax on desperation

Bet on yourself

Anonymous winner

Getting hit by a passing asteroid

Blue screen of death

The jackpot is so large…

Prayer

The lottery adventure

The widower

Equal winning odds

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