Category: Lottery Jokes

South Africa Lotto Results

These results for the South African National Lottery (Lotto, Lotto Plus, Powerball, SportStake) are updated regularly, please check back. Related Articles:If I won the lotto…Courtesy of Twitter, people’s resolutions if they won the lotto. 🙂 (Updated … Hoosier LottoLatest Result: 9-10-14-26-41-42Next Jackpot: $ 1,200,000Draw date: … 4.8 Million People Nearly Win Lottery!A record 4.8 million […]
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Related Articles:France – LotoDraw Date: 07-03-2016Draw Results: 6/11/12/41/49 +1Next Draw Date: … First UK National Lottery DrawThe first UK National Lottery draw took place on November 19, … Saturday LottoDraw date: 2016-03-05Draw Result: 2-11-20-26-39-45+19+33Next Jackpot: Au$ …
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Want to play a National Lottery, but improve your chances of winning drastically? Related Articles:Europe – EuroMillionsDraw Date: 04-03-2016Draw Results: 9/14/16/23/40 +1;5Next Draw Date: … Canada – Quebec 49Draw Date: 05-03-2016Draw Results: 2/3/7/13/32/40 +42>>> Buy your Ticket Now Colorado – Lotto+Draw Date 26/09/2019 01:36 GMTDraw Result 8;10;34;36;38;39Next Draw Date Next …
Play the Lottery Online

Welcome to our redesigned website where you can play the South African Lottery and other National Lottos online. Instead of finding and traveling to a local vendor, and then standing in line to buy a lottery ticket, you instead play the lotto via the Internet from the comfort of your own home or computer (anywhere […]

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Not Too Early For Christmas

To avoid the mad rush near the December deadline, play the Spanish Christmas Lotto now!

The Powerball is Powerful

Share in one of the world and America\'s largest lottos, play the Powerball now!

Mega Millions Can Make You Mega Rich

With one of the largest jackpot prizes anywhere, Mega Millions can change your life. Play now!

A Fat Prize From The Fat One

El Gordo (\"the fat one\") is Spain’s national lottery and offers one of Europe\'s largest jackpots. Get your tickets online now.

Share In The Best From Africa

The South African Lottery is the largest lotto in Africa. Buy your tickets and play online right now.

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South Africa Lotto Results

These results for the South African National Lottery (Lotto, Lotto Plus,..."

Suid-Afrikaanse Lotery

Live results are presently unavailable - please check back, or try this..."

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Mega Millions to adjust starting jackpot amount, eliminate minimum increases

The Mega Millions Consortium announced today that in response to flagging sales..."

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Ukraine – Loto Maxima

Draw Date 07/11/2019 20:50 GMTDraw Result 2;5;12;21;28Next Draw Date 08/11/2019..."

Lottery Jokes

Lotteries, dating, and religion

“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational..."

Home » Lottery Jokes

Lotteries, dating, and religion

“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.” – Scott Adams

Tags: dating, humor, joke, lotteries, lottery, lotto, quote, religion, Scott Adams
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on December 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on Lotteries, dating, and religion

Now or never

“Today I bought two lottery tickets, because I had a feeling that it would be now or never – they were both blanks. So I am not going to be rich after all. Nothing at all to be done about it.” – Eva Braun

Tags: Eva Braun, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, now or never, quote, rich
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on November 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on Now or never

A surtax on desperation

“Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation.” – Doug Coupland

Tags: desperation, Doug Coupland, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, quote, surtax
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on October 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on A surtax on desperation

Bet on yourself

“Forget the lottery. Bet on yourself instead.” – Brian Koslow

Tags: bet, Brian Koslow, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, quote
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on September 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on Bet on yourself

Anonymous winner

Jack Hendershot, resident of Lewes, Delaware wins $230,000,000 – chooses to remain anonymous.

Tags: anonymous, humor, jackpot, joke, lottery, lotto, winner
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on August 6th, 2013 | Comments Off on Anonymous winner

Getting hit by a passing asteroid

“I despise the Lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit on the head by a passing asteroid.” – Brian May

Tags: asteroid, Brian May, changes, despise, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, odds, quote
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on August 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on Getting hit by a passing asteroid

Blue screen of death

Bill Gates wins the $500 million MegaMillions Jackpot after buying all 175,711,536 different possible number combinations.

Tags: Bill Gates, blue screen of death, BSOD, humor, jackpot, joke, lottery, lotto, Mega Millions, megamillions, Microsoft, MS WIndows, windows
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on July 6th, 2013 | Comments Off on Blue screen of death

The jackpot is so large…

After several roll-overs, the jackpot is now worth $600 million.

The jackpot is so large that the winner will know what it is like to divorce Ted Turner. 🙂

Tags: divorce, humor, jackpot, joke, lottery, lotto, roll-over, rollover, Ted Turner
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on July 6th, 2013 | Comments Off on The jackpot is so large…

Prayer

Why is prayer the most powerful before a lottery drawing?

Because it is sincere.

Tags: humor, joke, lottery, lotto, prayer, sincere
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on June 6th, 2013 | Comments Off on Prayer

The lottery adventure

“Adventure upon all the tickets in the lottery, and you lose for certain; and the greater the number of your tickets the nearer your approach to this certainty.” – Adam Smith

Tags: Adam Smith, adventure, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, quote, tickets
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on June 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on The lottery adventure

The widower

A 70-year-old widower in Germany won a $4 million lottery, but he says he doesn’t want the money because his wife is gone and he has no children, so he doesn’t know what he’d do with it.

Tags: humor, husband, joke, lottery, lotto, spend, widower, wife
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on May 6th, 2013 | Comments Off on The widower

Equal winning odds

“I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.” – Fran Lebowitz

Tags: changes, Fran Lebowitz, humor, joke, lottery, lotto, odds, quote
Posted by Admin in Lottery Jokes on May 5th, 2013 | Comments Off on Equal winning odds

LOTTO RESULTS

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Philippines - Grand Lotto

Draw Date 29/06/2022 13:00 GMT
Draw Result 2;7;9;24;39;51
Next Draw Date 02/07/2022 13:00 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot ₱ 298.5 ...

Philippines - Super Lotto

Draw Date 30/06/2022 13:00 GMT
Draw Result 12;15;25;39;45;46
Next Draw Date 03/07/2022 13:00 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot ₱ 16 ...

Philippines - Ultra Lotto

Draw Date 28/06/2022 13:00 GMT
Draw Result 2;9;23;54;55;58
Next Draw Date 01/07/2022 13:00 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot ₱ 55.8 ...

Kazakhstan - Loto 6/49

Draw Date 29/06/2022 14:55 GMT
Draw Result 3;12;13;14;16;43 + 30
Next Draw Date 02/07/2022 14:55 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot ₸...

Kazakhstan - 5/36

Draw Date 28/06/2022 14:55 GMT
Draw Result 13;17;21;27;35
Next Draw Date 01/07/2022 14:55 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot ₸ 3.7 Mi...

Italy - MillionDAY Extra

Draw Date 30/06/2022 18:30 GMT
Draw Result Coming Soon
Next Draw Date 01/07/2022 18:30 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot Not Publish...

Texas - Lotto Texas Extra

Draw Date 30/06/2022 03:12 GMT
Draw Result 9;10;20;21;28;48
Next Draw Date 03/07/2022 03:12 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot US$ 5....

Texas - Cash Five

Draw Date 30/06/2022 03:12 GMT
Draw Result 2;4;30;34;35
Next Draw Date 01/07/2022 03:12 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot US$ 25 K
ht...

Portugal - Totoloto

Draw Date 29/06/2022 21:00 GMT
Draw Result 5;17;32;34;35 + 1
Next Draw Date 02/07/2022 21:00 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot € 3 M...

Ukraine - Loto Maxima

Draw Date 29/06/2022 19:50 GMT
Draw Result 13;21;27;31;45
Next Draw Date 30/06/2022 19:50 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot ₴ 1.9 Mi...

Peru - Tinka

Draw Date 30/06/2022 02:00 GMT
Draw Result 14;25;30;37;44;45 + 24
Next Draw Date 04/07/2022 02:00 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot ...

Philippines - Mega Lotto

Draw Date 29/06/2022 13:00 GMT
Draw Result 7;10;22;36;39;42
Next Draw Date 01/07/2022 13:00 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot ₱ 9 Mi...

Philippines - Lotto

Draw Date 30/06/2022 13:00 GMT
Draw Result 13;14;18;20;31;38
Next Draw Date 02/07/2022 13:00 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot ₱ 18....

Texas - Lotto Texas

Draw Date 30/06/2022 03:12 GMT
Draw Result 9;10;20;21;28;48
Next Draw Date 03/07/2022 03:12 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot US$ 5....

Texas - Texas Two Step

Draw Date 28/06/2022 03:12 GMT
Draw Result 5;19;23;31 + 32
Next Draw Date 01/07/2022 03:12 GMT
Next Draw Jackpot US$ 225...

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South Africa Lotto Results

Suid-Afrikaanse Lotery

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